Shelby shut the door with a click and peered over at me. “What are you writing? If it’s permission to use the feather duster as a sex toy, the answer is no. Unless you buy your own, but if you haven’t figured out where the laundry room is yet, I doubt you’ll find where to buy one.”

She was as funny as a car crash, this one.

“Hilarious,” I drawled. “No, I’m making amendments as I go. I added a new rule.”

“You added a new rule?” She raised one dark eyebrow and walked over, hovering over me. “All right, what is it?”

“Decent clothes must be worn. Do you know how many times I wake up early on a morning to open the gym and find you basically in your underwear in the kitchen?”

“Basically in my underwear? Who are you seeing in the kitchen? I wear shorts and a tank top at the very least.”

“Yes, but the shorts barely cover your ass, and you’re sure as hell not wearing a bra.”

She paused, eyes glittering as she said, “And why are you looking at my ass and my boobs?”

That was an excellent question.

“Because there’s nowhere else to look!” I rushed out before my stupid cock could get any ideas. “Look, waking up in the morning can be challenging for a guy.”

She stared at me.

“I don’t need to get up for a coffee with… you know.” I motioned to my groin. “And see you half-clothed.”

She flicked her hair over her shoulder and walked to the kitchen, turning her back to me. “Why does it matter? I’m your best friend. I hardly think your little friend is remotely interested in whether or not I’m wearing a bra.”

Yeah, well, he is.

“Fine. If I have to wake up and see your perky nipples prancing around the kitchen, I’m going to stroll around in my underwear so you can get a good view of my morning glory.”

She spun, lifting up a finger. Her cheeks were flushed, and she had to swallow before she could speak. “My nipples do not prance. They are not horses.”

I grinned.

“Also, I have no desire to have anything to do with your morning erection, much less get a good view of it, thank you very much.”

“Have I told you that you’re cute when you blush?”

“Have I told you that you’d be a cute dead guy?”

I laughed, leaning back on the sofa. “C’mon, Shelbs. We need to respect each other’s privacy. You don’t want to see my cock hard over your breakfast, and I don’t want to see your nipples standing to attention when I make a coffee.”

She sighed. “Why did I ever let you move in again?”

“Because I was going to be homeless and you’re the best friend ever?”

“Mm.”